$80 000

i recently read that Britney Spears spent $80 000 on lacy lingerie. let me just lay back with my head against the pillows and think about that for a moment. i figure that for that amount of money i could get a reasonable amount of 'good girl, bad girl' outfits. it seems Britney gathered up a policegirl, air steward and boy scout outfit. boy scout outfit. i seem to be drifting away on a cloud.

well, i'm still trying to afford decent panties. but there's always dreaming.

"quinquireme of Nineveh from distant Ophir
rowing home to haven in sunny Palestine,
with a cargo of ivory,
and apes and peacocks,
sandalwood, cedarwood and sweet white whine"

~ John Masefield

...and cigarettes? will there also be cigarettes? i just thought that since we're killing elephants, kidnapping exotic wildlife, disturbing the local ecology and destroying forests we might want to, you know, smoke afterwards.

one day, when chimpanzees rule the world they're going to shove bananas up our asses and make us do the hokey pokey. at least, i hope they do. because honestly, here be dragons.

give the roads the finger

i shall be telling this with a sigh
somewhere ages and ages hence
two roads diverged in a wood and I -

roll around in the dirt laughing because its a BUNCH OF ABSOLUTE HORSESHIT! two miserable roads?

let me machete my way past marauding lions instead! how about i take the one never traveled by and you take your difference and shove it? that last line is ironic, right?